After the wedding day, what's next? Is the question every newly married couples should ask themselves. The realities of life you must face after your wedding day are something that's normal. You must have to deal with them one by one. It's what marriage is all about.
It's what determines whether you will stay married or remain single for life! Your wedding is past, and you and your mate are settling down as a new family unit. Is your happiness complete? You are no longer alone but have a companion to confide in, to share your joys and also your problems. Like Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10 says “two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their hard work. For if one of them should fall, the other one can raise him up. But how will it be with just the one who falls when there is not another to raise him up?” Is your marriage flourishing with this kind of cooperation? It usually takes some time and effort for this happy blending of two lives. But in many marriages, sad to say, it never happens.
In romantic tales, the problem often is getting the two who are in love together. But then they live happily ever after. In real life, it is living happily afterward, day by day, that presents the true challenge. After the delights of the wedding day comes the daily routine of life: getting up early, going to work, shopping, cooking meals, washing dishes, cleaning the house, and so on. The marriage relationship requires adjustments. You both entered into it with at least some expectations and ideals that were not very practical and realistic. When these are not met, some disappointment may come after the first few weeks. But, remember, you have made a big change in your life. You are no longer living alone or with a family that you have been with all your life. You are now with a new person, one you may be discovering that you don't know as well as you thought you did. Your schedule is new, your work may be new, your budget is different, and there are new friends and in-laws to get used to. The success of your marriage and your happiness depend upon your willingness to adjust.
HOW FLEXIBLE ARE YOU?
One of the realities of life you must face after the wedding day is flexibility. Some, because of pride, find it difficult to be flexible. But, as the Bible says, “pride comes before disaster, and arrogance before a fall.”
To persist in stubbornness can be calamitous. (Proverbs 16:18). Two married persons in love should be able to adjust in order to make a success of their new relationship.
There are opportunities everywhere for one to be either happy or unhappy. To which will you be alert? Will you focus on the positive or dwell on the negative? The new wife may think: ‘Now that we are married, where is that romantic man who used to take me out to interesting places and spend time with me? He's settled into a rut. He takes me for granted. He's certainly not the man i knew before!’ Or does she understand and appreciate that he now works hard to be a good provider for his family? And does this new husband notice that his wife works hard to cook and clean, at times is very tired and does not have as much time to spend trying to look glamorous? Or does he say to himself: ‘What's happened to that attractive young lady that i married? She's changed, now that she has her man’?
Both should be mature and realise that neither one has the time or the energy to do all the things that were done before marriage. Now is the time to show flexibility and accept the deeply satisfying responsibility of making marriage work. One person can ruin a marriage, but it takes two to make it work. Making your marriage work is an achievement. Achievement implies accomplishing something despite difficulties. When the two of you join in this endeavor, a part of each of you blends into this achievement. This joint effort with a mutual goal ties you together; it binds you close; it makes the two of you one. In time this creates a bond of love surpassing anything felt in anticipation of marriage, and in such unifying happiness it becomes a pleasure to adjust to each other's differences.
Pride fades as love grows, and there is happiness not only in giving but also in giving in, yielding, when personal preference, and not principle, is involved. It may be the buying of some item for the house, or how to spend a vacation. When concern for the other's happiness is shown, the couple begin to fit the apostle Paul's words: “Keeping an eye, not in personal interest upon just your own matters, but also in personal interest upon those of the others.”— Philippians 2:4.
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Do have a lovely week and remember that you can make your marriage work!.